


Unrequited

by FireBurnsBrighter



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, M/M, Magic, Merthur - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireBurnsBrighter/pseuds/FireBurnsBrighter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin is in love with Arthur. But will the feeling be mutual?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Merlin

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very mean, so don't expect a happy ending to this. (sad face)  
> The next chapter is just the same from Arthur's POV.
> 
> I'm not really too keen on this story, and I promise i'm not so romantic in real life :L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I just realised what a poopy summary this story has. Think I should change it? I should probably change it. Any ideas?

Merlin had been in love with Arthur Pendragon for a year. Twelve months. 365 days. That was how long it had took him to realize that the emotions that he felt when around him were not, as he had hoped, merely ones signifying respect, awe and love for a friend.

Since he had come to the understanding that what he felt was, indeed, love. He had spent most of his waking hours pondering how, if at all, he should express it.

Hence the reason that Merlin, with a large smile, woke Arthur to the works of,

'Get up you lazy prat!'

Well, he couldn't be too obvious about it...

'Merlin, you are paid to wake me up. The least you could do is say it nicely.'

'Would you like to try again?' Merlin puzzled

''Hmmmpphhh' Arthur flopped back under the sheets. So Merlin took this as a 'yes'.

'Arthur, dearest, it's time to wake up. The birds are singing, it's a wonderful day..' Merlin half teased.

'Merlin, you are my manservant. NOT my wife.' He was laughing though

'Of course' Merlin tried to laugh too, but thoughts were swimming in his head..

*****

It was a week later, and after much consideration, Merlin had decided to tell Arthur about his feelings for him. Or rather, show his feelings..

Arthur was just walking our of his room when Merlin caught him.

'Arthur, I need to tell you something.'

'What, you've scratched the silverware again? Forget about it, we have plenty m-'

Merlin silenced him with a kiss. It was rushed and clumsy, but Merlin was enjoying it.

For one tiny second, Merlin thought Arthur kissed back. Merlin went to put his arms around Arthur's neck, but he was pushed of.

'MERLIN! WHAT IN THE NAME OF CAMELOT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!'

'I- em, I-' Merlin stumbled. He knew he had done wrong. He felt his face head up.

'MERLIN?!'

'I'm sorry, Arthur. I just wanted to show you that I-' Merlin stopped himself before he told Arthur that he loved him. That wouldn't go well.

'I.. better go. Um, Arthur? I quit my job. Just so you know.'

'When?' Arthur was shocked through the shock.

'Just now.'

And with that, Merlin left. Leaving Arthur completely confused.

*****

Merlin went to Gaius' house straight after that and packed his things. He knew he could not stay after this.

He was just about to walk out of the door what he spared a thought for Gaius. He loved that man like a father, but still, he knew he could not stay.

Merlin took a piece of parchment from the table and simply wrote

'I'm sorry.'

He then took out the magic book that Gaius had given him upon his arrival.

He opened it to a page that contained a spell that one could cast to make someone forget their memories. He left it open on that page on the table with the note on top. Then he left.

*****

Merlin made his way to a peak in the woods, overlooking a beautiful crystal-like lake.

A good place for a new beginning, he thought.

Merlin sat on the grass and began reciting the memory spell from the book.

Soon he began to feel a slight tugging at the edges of his mind. He welcomed it.

Ten minutes later Merlin stood up like a phoenix rising from the ashes. He did not remember Arthur, did not remember his love for him. This was how he had wanted it.

Merlin continued to walk through valleys, through meadows and forests, to new places.

He grew old, always with the sensation that there was something he was missing, but somehow also knowing it was better this way.

When Merlin got to the old age of eighty-two, he died. It was a peaceful death, pleasant, the way it should be. Almost perfect.

The only thing was that Merlin died not knowing that Arthur had loved him, too.


	2. Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SorrySorrySorry. Don't kill me.  
> I said it was angsty

He knew it was inappropriate, or course. He knew it would never work. He knew that it would never be allowed. But most importantly, Arthur knew that Merlin would never feel the same.

Or so he thought.

That day when Merlin woke him up, for the second time, that is, and called him 'dearest'

He knew that Merlin was teasing, he knew that Merlin couldn't possibly even have considered the idea...

Arthur seemed to know a lot of things.

What he didn't know was that he was wrong. Completely and totally wrong.

*****

The day that Merlin had kissed Arthur, he felt as if every dream he had ever had was happening right in front of him. He was so shocked that he didn't respond at first, and when he did begin to respond, he thought he saw someone walking past.

There wasn't anyone, of course.

But it was done now.

Arthur began to shout at Merlin.

He wasn't sure if he was doing it because he was angry or because he was in disbelief at what he had done. Probably the latter.

When Merlin told him that he had quit his job, Arthur felt as if his heart had had a tight fist close around it and squeeze. He'd heard of a broken heart, but this seemed ten times worse.

As Merlin walked away, Arthur could only stare, unresponsive.

Little did he know that this would be the last memory he would ever have of Merlin.

*****

Arthur hated himself. And he only hated himself more an hour later when Gaius came running to Arthur saying that Merlin was gone.

It was his fault.

He sent out searches, to no avail.

****

Arthur was now in his thirties.

He had married a beautiful woman, taken the throne upon his father's demise, and had 3 children. 2 boys and 1 girl.

Yet he was not happy.

Every year, Arthur sent out men to search for Merlin. He knew it was pointless, yet he could not stop.

Every year, the report was the same. No sightings. But he still could not stop himself from hoping. Every time he felt that hand grip his heart a little tighter. He told himself he deserved it.

He expected the same thing every time, so when the head knight came to him with a strange look on his face, Arthur knew what to expect.

'Your highness, sir. Merlin... Merlin was found, sir.'

Arthur nearly choked.

'Really? Is he here?'

'No, Arthur, I'm sorry, but... he says...'

'What does he say? TELL ME.'

'He says that he does not know an Arthur.'

Arthur dismissed the knight.

Merlin has moved on, he thought. He should be happy. Why couldn't Arthur bring himself to be happy?

Arthur knew the reason.

He loved him.

He always had and always, always would.


End file.
